Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
