Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
