shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just wanna soil my oats bro
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
