My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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