Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
