is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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