My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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