they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
