Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
