he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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