mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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