Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize