Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
