It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
