Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
