SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
