do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.