if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks