I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
