I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there