Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's shark week go big or go home
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.