I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
