That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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