I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
NoShamevember. You game?
i've created a new STD.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
