Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
