She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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