I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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