Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
