I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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