After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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