did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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