You made me cry and you don't even care
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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