Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
