why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize