I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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