You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I love you.
Bad choice
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