pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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