PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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