I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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