Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize