lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
