maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
