i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she looked like the before picture.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
