The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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