I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
