You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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