I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
