I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize