The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.