Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
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Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day