You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
