just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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