I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
