I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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