this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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