Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
