I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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