She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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