you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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