I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize