she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
