i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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